Websites and Resources < Back

Resources & Websites for Parents

The following websites and resources are designed to provide information on a variety of topics that you may find helpful in your work as a parent, guardian, grandparent, educator or youth worker/

 www.familyeducation.com

Great website with a variety of parenting information, activities and entertainment for families.

 www.safepiercing.org

Information on body piercing safety

 www.safe-tattoos.com

Information about tattooing safety

 www.youngwomenshealth.org

Health information on various topics from experts at Children's Hospital of Boston

 www.kidshealth.org

Advice for parents, young children and teens from experts on a variety of topics

 www.theantidrug.com                                                                        

Excellent parenting, drug and alcohol information for parents and teachers.  Information available in multiple languages.

 www.health.org

U.S. Department of Health & Human Services website for alcohol & drug information    

 www.familyaware.org/teens/resources.php   

Resource for information about bipolar disorder, depression and suicide.                                     

 www.afsp.org

American Foundation for suicide prevention

 www.hopes-wi.org

 Hopes suicide education and prevention

 www.ncadd.org

The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence

 www.nida.nih.gov

National Institute on Drug Abuse website with lots of information on drugs

 www.tolerance.org

Tips for parents, students & teachers.  Includes stories to read aloud and a mural that kids can add to, using the computer.

 www.madd.org

 Mothers Against Drunk Driving

 www.nhtsa.gov

 Parental Responsibility Toolkit - featuring strategies to prevent motor-vehicle-related deaths and injuries of teens

 www.safekids.com

Information about internet safety and other safety issues concerning children.

 www.kidspeace.org

Kids Peace lends an expert, guiding hand to help kids and their families make it safely through difficult times.

 www.focusas.com

Focus Adolescent Services - articles on an extensive list of problems and diagnoses  plaguing children, teens and families.

 www.mytroubledteen.com

Resource for information on residential programs/schools for troubled teens.

 www.difficultteens.com

1-800-266-1437 for free materials  

1-800-429-8312 Free Parent Hotline

Resource for parents experiencing difficulties with their teen.  Pamphlets, a resource directory and free parent videos can be downloaded.

*******************************************

How to Find Chemical dependency treatment programs in your area:

Help in finding a treatment program is just a click of the mouse or a phone call away. SAMHSA's Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator is an online tool for finding private and public facilities that are licensed, certified, or otherwise approved by their State substance abuse agency. In addition, it lists treatment facilities administered by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, the Indian Health Service and the U.S. Department of Defense.

Visit the Treatment Facility Locator at

 http://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/facilitylocatordoc.htm

For additional assistance, you also may contact the toll-free Referral Helpline operated by SAMHSA's Center for Substance Abuse Treatment: 1-800-662-4357,

1-800-662-9832 (en español), or 1-800-228-0427 (TDD).

 

 

 

 

 

 

TEENS LATEST HIGH MAY BE COMING FROM THE MEDICINE CABINET

 

The statistics on prescription drug abuse show that every day, more than 2,000 kids age 12 to 17 try a painkiller non medically for the first time, and 71 percent of persons age 12 and older who abuse these drugs say they get them from a relative or friend.  It appears that many teens don't realize these drugs can be just as dangerous as street drugs, so kids who would never try street drugs might feel safe abusing prescription drugs.  

 

It might be medication left over from your last surgery.  Maybe they’re pills you keep on the dresser or tucked inside your purse.  Teens are finding prescription drugs wherever people they know keep them - and abusing them to get high.  Set clear rules about not sharing medicines and always following proper dosages, safeguard all drugs at home, properly dispose of old or unneeded medicines and ask family members to do the same.

 

To renew momentum around parental awareness about this threat, the National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign will run new prescription drug print and TV ads across the country over the next few months in major newspapers such as The New York Times and USA Today as well as in 17 national publications such as Parade, Newsweek, People and Family Circle.  You can view and download the ad "Cocaine" at http://www.TheAntiDrug.com/pdfs/Cocaine_RxPrint.pdf.  To underscore the message that teens need only look as far as the medicine cabinet at home to get high, two TV ads, which first aired during last year's Super Bowl, will run nationally on NBC and CBS networks and cable outlets such as CNN, Bravo, the History Channel and others; and on Web sites such as CNN.com, RevolutionHealth.com, Drugs.com and Yahoo.com.  These ads, "Drug Dealer" and "All My Pills," can be viewed at http://www.TheAntiDrug.com/drug_info/prescription_ads.asp.

 

Since the problem of prescription drug abuse is predominantly one of access and awareness, Family Circle magazine and the Media Campaign have joined forces to highlight the danger zones in each room of the home, producing a printed "house tour" that will run in the magazine's June issue (on newsstands May 12).  Additional copies of this new resource - a supplement to the popular online version that can be found by visiting www.TheAntiDrug.com/dangerzones - are available now at the Media Campaign's clearinghouse and can be ordered, FREE of charge, by calling 1-800-788-2800. 

 

 

 

 

 

Parenting for Prevention

 

The most effective drug and alcohol use prevention efforts are done right at home.  A survey by the National Parent Teacher Association found that the majority of children want to talk to their parents about drugs, but don’t know how.

 

Parents, here are some tips for talking with your children:

 

·        Create a family atmosphere that encourages discussion about alcohol and drug use

·        Provide a positive role model regarding the use of alcohol and drugs

·        Ban alcohol and other drugs at parties held in your home

·        Prohibit parties when adults are not present

·        Set a time when children are expected to be home, and follow through with consequences if those rules are broken

·        Know your children’s friends

·        Know the parents of your children’s friends

·        Know who your child is going out with and where they are going

·        Become knowledgeable about the signs of alcohol and drug use

·        Become acquainted with resources for help

 

According to a recent study done at Brigham Young University (BYU), while the influence of peers is an important factor in whether or not a teen will decide to use drugs, the influence of parents may be just as significant. "Much of the previous research in this area shows that adolescents make their decisions about drugs based on influence from their friends," said Stephen Bahr, professor of sociology at BYU and the study's lead author. "But those studies neglect the notion we found here, that some of the family characteristics help determine who teens associate with. We also found that some steps taken by parents had a direct effect on lowering drug abuse, even in the face of peer influences." The study's findings appear in the Journal of Primary Prevention.

 

Here is the link to the study:

 

http://byunews.byu.edu/release.aspx?story=archive05/Dec/teendrugs

 

 

Teenage Warning Signs

 

 

Teenage      Problem	Signs & Symptoms
Alcohol & Drugs	Increased accidents, tardiness or truancy drop in grades, withdrawal, loss of interest in normal activities, use of mouthwash/mints/eye drops, alcohol or marijuana odor, dazed or confused, memory problems, pupils dilated or constricted
Depression and Suicide Ideation	Withdrawal, loss of interest in normal activities and appearance, moodiness, irritability, expressions of hopelessness, self-harm, extreme interest in music and media with themes of death
Eating Disorders	May lose up to 25% of body weight, unrealistic body image, obsession with exercise, binge eating, hiding food, swollen glands and sore throat from repeated vomiting, wearing clothes that hide figure
Peer Pressure	Disrespect for authority, rebellion, withdrawal, argumentative, change in activities, friends, interests or behavior
Sexual Activity	Anxiety related to relationships, change in appearance, birth control items
Smoking	Matches, lighters, use of breath mints, tardiness in coming home, smoke smell
Stress	Changes in eating or sleeping patterns, nervousness, irritability, depression, withdrawal
Being Bullied	Anxiety, not wanting to go to school, change in eating or sleeping habits, withdrawal, depression, suicidal ideation
In an Abusive Relationship	Anxiety, increased worry, perfectionism, unexplained bruises or marks, excessive guilt or shame for no apparent reason, secrecy or withdrawal from friends and family, avoidance of school or social events with excuses that don't seem to make any sense, boyfriend or girlfriend very jealous and controlling
Internet Harassment	Spends lots of time on computer, becomes secretive about computer activities, uses lots of chat room shorthand or acronyms when chatting, leaving the house to meet a “friend” you do not know
Violent Behavior	Detachment, lack of bonding to others, withdrawal, feelings of hopelessness, threats of violence and efforts to establish the means to carry them out, disciplinary problems in school or community, unusual interest or preoccupation with weapons and violent entertainment, abuse of animals, self-harm, suicide threats or attempts

 

 

 

For Parents: Guidelines for Understanding & Caring

For a Person Who Engages in Self Injurious Behavior

 

• Recognize that self injury is not the same as a suicide attempt. While it is true that people who are suicidal also may engage in self injurious behavior, the behavior itself is not an attempt to end one’s life. People generally engage in self injury not because they want to die, but because they want to feel better.

 

• Understand the significant degree of relief that the person obtains from engaging in self injurious behavior. At some level, the behavior “works.” It always “makes sense.” Those who engage in it are not “crazy,” but are attempting to alter an intolerable internal mood state. Self injury is an attempt at a solution.

 

• Don’t take it personally. People do not generally self-injure to be dramatic, to annoy you, or to make you feel guilty. Educate yourself as much as possible about self injury so that you can learn to respond appropriately.

 

• Try to suspend your good intentions to stop or fix the problem in favor of moving closer to the person with compassion and understanding. A frontal assault on symptoms alone is rarely effective, and may drive the problem deeper. The better you are able to connect with the person “behind the self injury,” the better you will be able to help the person make the decision to stay safe. People heal as they learn to rely on safe relationships with other human beings rather than relying on self injury to meet their needs.

 

• At the same time, acknowledge your own emotional reaction to self injury, and discuss your feelings with others who can understand and support you. Many people find self injury frightening and repulsive. It is likely to evoke feelings of disgust and anger. While these feelings are understandable and normal, they can interfere with your ability to be helpful if they lead to distancing, judgmental or controlling behaviors on your part. Common control strategies on the part of caregivers include appeals to logic, threats, groundings, lectures, withdrawing love and support and guilt. Remember that ultimatums do not ever work.

 

• Understand that limit setting is different than control. For example, saying, “We may need to consider short-term hospitalization to stabilize your pattern of self injury,” or “You will be grounded for coming home an hour after curfew,” are reasonable limits. Saying, “You’ll be grounded if you hurt yourself again” is counterproductive and unreasonable. You can continue to set reasonable limits without crossing the line into trying to control the person’s pattern of self injury.

 

• Avoid being drawn into a power struggle around the issue of safety in which the person advocates for self injury and you become the spokesperson for safety. The person who self injures must struggle with his or her own ambivalence about wanting to stop versus wanting to continue with the behavior.

 

• While you cannot stop another person from engaging in self injury, you can help the person make the decision to stay safe by such things as offering love and support, providing distractions (e.g., taking a walk, going to a movie), making time to listen, providing transportation to therapy or support groups, and letting the person know that you love them independently of their behavior. Give the message, “I don’t approve of the behavior, but I always love you.” Make it clear that the person doesn’t need to engage in self injury in order to get displays of caring from you.

 

• Encourage self injurers to use words to express their pain. Validate their pain. Statements like “You don’t have to hurt yourself to tell me how bad you feel,” can be helpful. Don’t try to talk the person out of his or her painful feelings. For example, instead of saying, “You shouldn’t feel this way,” ask, “What makes you think you are worthless or deserve to be punished?,” or  “Tell me more about how you are feeling.”

 

• Examine your own beliefs and values with regards to conflict, feelings and boundaries. Is conflict dealt with openly and respectfully in your family? Are there certain feelings that you are uncomfortable with or do not allow? Are people allowed privacy and space in your family? How are decisions made? Be open to the possibility of working with a family therapist to help you and your family members establish flexible and respectful ways of communicating and being together.

 

• Work out with the person the best way to approach the subject of self injury and how you can be the most helpful. Let the person know that you are willing to talk. Some persons who self injure prefer that you bring the subject up from time to time because it is hard for them to initiate a conversation about how they are doing. Others want space, and prefer to talk with you when they are ready to do so. In any case, find out the things that you can do that are helpful, and then do them.

 

• Recovery entails putting the self injury “out of a job,” identifying the rewards that the self injury provides, and then finding ways to achieve these rewards in safe ways. Rather than seeing yourself as the “self injury police,” looking for ways to “catch” and “stop” the person from engaging in the behavior, imagine yourself as a facilitator, someone who can help the person explore ways that he or she might be able to “act out” in safe ways. The message is, “You’ve found a way to try to take care of yourself by hurting yourself. Let’s see if there are other ways you can meet your needs. Let’s see if we can add to your repertoire of coping responses.”

 

• Recovery is about the gradual surrender of self injurious behavior in favor of a life worth living. It is not an “all-or-nothing” event, but a process that involves the gradual shifting of trust away from the self injurious behavior toward ever-deepening connections with self, other people and the world.

 

 

• Attend to any physical/medical needs a person may have after self injury has occurred, but don’t inadvertently reinforce the behavior by becoming overly concerned. Remain matter-of-fact.

 

• Use relapse episodes as an opportunity for learning, rather than evidence of inevitable failure. Help the person discover what went wrong, what triggered their self injury, and what they can do differently the next time to stay safe.

 

• Talk with the person about times they thought about hurting themselves, but didn’t. Ask, “What was different?” “How did you stay safe?” “Do you think you could do this again in the future?”

 

• People are much more likely to recover from self injury when they are able to find something that makes them “light up,” something that they excel at or feel passionate about, something that makes them want to get up in the morning. Encourage your loved one to take small steps toward strengthening and/or pursuing his or her unique gifts and interests to promote a sense of mastery, recognition and connection to the larger community.

 

• Remember that there is hope. People can and do recover from self injury.

 

 

 

 

This information is reprinted with permission from (2006) Shiltz, Thomas J. Self Injury Support Group Curriculum, Rogers Memorial Hospital. Call 1-800-767-4411, ext. 566 for information on obtaining the entire curriculum.